Okay, I'm leaving tonight. Which is not very far away. I am really going to miss alot of people badly, )': I hope you like the picture, (: You can right click and select view source. Then the top part, there's the link to the picture. If you want to see it larger that is.
I'll take ten steps where ever I go.
Failure to communicate, a lunch to celebrate the beginning of the breakdown. It's so bad now that you seem like a failure now. Is that what you really are? Have I been blinded by all the hopes I had that it all seems impossible now? I know I keep making all these stupid desicions to piss you off. Of all the things I could have said and done, I did something stupid. Now you won't even talk to me. Do we always have to go this far? It isn't fair, it was never fair.
I can't take my eyes off you, I can't explain why. You're like this little sister I feel I have to protect from everything else I've gone through in my life. You think you have gone through the worst, but you never see that it isn't that bad. Don't lose what you already have, not before it's too late. You are so stubborn, you are just like me. I won't give in easy either. But if this is the way everything has to go, so be it.
I'm actually feeling so sick after reading what you said to me last time. We used to be so close, there was nothing to hide. Then now I hardly even know you anymore. Maybe what I wanted was just too much. I expected you to rise up against everything and take the challenge. Because I knew you could, but just I don't know anymore.
Let's just say I'm screwed up and I'm leaving tomorrow night. I don't expect an apology, I don't want one.
Friday, May 26, 2006
I am sick, ): That is not a good thing. I really miss 200506. Now that it's gone, I feel like there's nothing to look forward to? I don't know. Now I am so bored, I've been watching videos, really random ones. Such as The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice and I Don't Wanna Stay by Ben Adams. I miss Ben Adams, I miss a1. ): You can click on Ben Adams to see the "live" video. It's nice, (: But sadly, I can't find the mp3 version of it! )': That is so sad okay, I really want the song. On my birthday I don't know what I want. Green, I have got. What I really want? I want this whole day out with everyone from ast year and church, all the special ones from my past and present. All going out somewhere for just one whole day. That'd make me the happiest girl in the world, ever. But then again, it's not possible. I cannot invite salt and cream if there are people from our school coming. Because I know for sure people from our school have their special meaning in my life. So it's quite impossible. ): But if there is the church people, the school people and the primairy school people, it'd be good enough. :D But I won't know how to talk to the primary school people. I haven't seen them in such a long time. It'd feel awkward. Like how the other day I bumped into Pamela and I didn't know what to say. I want to go to someone's house and just jump into the pool and play. You know what I mean. Like one the 200506 and last years camp after party. (: Those were really good times. I like pool parties. They're the best ever, they're on of the few times I'd want to keep forever fresh in my mind. I loved EFL'05, the camp after party and 200506. :D Also that time in sentosa, (: Alot of bittersweet memories. The leaving part was hard for 200506. Everyone was quite down after the whole party. Because we never knew when would our next party be. September, alright? (: I like pool parties... :D Barbeques are stinky. Haha. But then again, we should have a chalet. :D Haha, that'd be the best thing in the world. I cannot imagine how great it'd be. I am way off track about what I want for my birthday. Haha, basically, I want a nice day with my friends. :D Presents are a not needed thing, because I don't know what I want. I really don't. I bet I'd get green stuff though, but hey, don't get anything for me. Let's just all go out and have a great day? :D Alright? This is for all those reading and especially for all those I love. I'll forever keep you in my heart. Maybe we will watch a movie? But that's so tacky. That's for after everything, when we get bored. When we are tired. We'd just sleep infront of the television! Like on 200506, excapt for me that is. Hahaha, because it was my favourite show ever, Titanic. :D I think this is my longest post ever, but hey I am leaving for a month. I shall post this in all my blogs. Anyway, I just wrote all of this, just in case I never came back. The bunch from 2C, you people hold such a special meaning, it hurts to be away from you all. It hurts to see you sad, it hurts when you are mad. But I know, that no matter what happens, you'll always be there. Right till the end, always and forever. (: To those I didn't mention, it's not that you aren't special. You're already in my heart. :D
The people from church, we have had our fair share of fun and disagreements. After all, we have known each other for what- 10 years and counting. :D You people have been the one for me when things happened, like the way you came when you needed a hand. Sometimes, we act like we're still back in k2, we argue, we have our petty fights. But in the end, we all laugh it over, we have a great time. No matter how much things change, it'll always remain the same. Forever, I'll be here, this my very last breath.
The bunch from primary school. You don't know how much you've made an impact on me. We were all like sisters, talking about boybands and neopets. Haha, I still remember those times. Talking during lessons, hanging out at the monkey bars during recess. Getting in trouble for not returning early, the p6 trip, SARS. Thank you, but don't forget me.
3D. You all have a meaning too. I never thought secondary three would be fun, after what I had gone through in sec1 and sec2. I always had the impression that the class was boring, but thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for all the unknown support you have given me in every single way.
All of you are the love of my life, <3
Thursday, May 25, 2006
That I still love you so says:
I look stupid now. Got this tissue stuffed up my nose. hahaha.
I don't know myself from anybody else. says:
o.0
I don't know myself from anybody else. says:
haha take picture!
That I still love you so says:
O_O
I don't know myself from anybody else. says:
iput as your display pic!
I don't know myself from anybody else. says:
=D
OHMYGOODNESS. What a wrazy dude!
What a nice rainy day, :D
The only picture I will show. Because I know when I'm there, I will miss everything. I will want to take I look. I can look here, (: The picture is taking loooong to load. Man. There! :D
ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE!
Six is taking the photo.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
:D I am happy.
Today was super fun.
We celebrated *'s birthday.
The two of them are so funny. (:
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Sometime soon! :D Right before I leave I'll have a good time. Oh man! Lets just hope tomorrow will be alright, I feel so stressed now. I'm being pressured to do thing I don't know how to do. It's so frustrating. I'm getting that stupid neck cramp. I only get it when I'm stressed. I'm so tired of being angry. ): I'm getting mad at every single thing that happens. But I've given up hope. I stopped studying Physics and I even slept. ): I know I can make it if I want to. I just don't see why I should anymore.
When he treated you like his sister.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Timezone is FUN. :D
We all should go timezone more often, so that I'll get the platinum card. Haha. :D Currently it's gold card. I haven't used it since today. :D Before that was LAST YEAR! Haha, I miss the timezone days. :D I ROCK MORE THAN CHARISSA. Hahaha. So many people at Great World is a bad thing! I miss last year, alot. ): I miss it so much, I'm forcing everything to become the way it was. Eegh.
At least now I've got the dude & cool aunty to talk to. At least they've gone through it. They're GOOOOT. :D
x3wrazy!
I like the language!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
HOOOGASHAGA. :D
Somebody's being an asshole! Plus, that somebody still can come ask me aye! Hahaha. But then again, calling you an asshole is mean. Right? But then again. Your mean too. :D
Who am I talking about? D...! Hahaha. :D No, I will not tell you. Go find my other blog and read la! It's not like I don't update everyday there. Yesterday I had 2hours of sleep. Last night I had 5. Hmm, to day will be? I am going to FAIL Geography. Die!
Friday, May 05, 2006
I am NOT using the blogdrive account as my new blog.
Please, go study. Leave me be.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
I'll tell you where I've gone in my next post. I've left this place, I'm not leaving forever. At least I don't think so.
Err, I'm not using the blogdrive account as my new blog. Hmm, I don't intend on having anyone relink me or what-so-ever. So yes, I've disappeared. I'm missing!
http://m-j-h.blogdrive.com
Do not link, I rarely ever go there.
There's no wonder why
Refresh page!
1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 7
11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 8
21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 3
31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 4
41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbour
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 3
51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 3
61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 6
71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 4
81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 9
91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 6
Total score: 53
Less than 60 means your an angel. Me angel? Haha. The skinny-dipping question. You wish man. Only done it in underwear. HAHAHA. Too much of information? Why with underwear? Because there were guys there, duh. Ss paper was horrible. But I think I'll barely scrap a pass, if I even do pass that is!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I'm been talking to the most unexpected. But it's alright, the unexpected is always nice to talk to. Because you'll never know what's coming. Blogs have been talking really long to load lately. Ahh, I don't have time for them anymore. I hate The Sims. The Sims 2 is so much better! Pfffffts. My brother had to not bring home the cd. Rahh! So the freaking weekend better come soon. All the haloscan posts are deleting by themselves. Hahaha, that's so wierd. Anyway, I think I'll take down haloscan soon. Everyone's been tagging on my chatango instead of my haloscan. So my haloscan is practially useless. Hmm, I'm off the bathe, then to study. Then AMERICAN IDOL. Then study again! :D
Today I shall study! Laughing if really good when your down, (: Perhaps I souldn't be so sad. I'm starting to learn how to feel again! Must be the exam stress, ha.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I've decided to give up everything I've known. Because it's not what I've wanted. Trust me, I'm still discovering myself. I've got new songs you must tune in to.
If I were you.
I'm telling you I'm stuck on sick. The song feels so like me. Pretty empty, but still a whole. I'm just really messed up right now. I don't know what I'm going to do this Friday. Or two weeks later. I'm too damn proud to listen to anyone else.
I just had my dinner, conversations with Dude & Cool Aunty ain't so fun! Cause Cool Aunty's got her projects, I've got my exams & Dude loves to SLEEP. That Dude's a big bum! She actually knows Avril Lavinge exists, HA! That's something new. Tomorrow is Fer Soh's birthday. I totally forgot, die la. Damn, I wish I weren't so fickle minded.
Ten steps away from you, from you & him. Redemption, is that a sin?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Goodbye.
I don't know when I'll be back.
It's more, than a habit,
I'm more, than an addict
I'm parked here outside of your door
Know you, never lock it,
Got your keys, in my pocket
Lights all out, but I know for sure
I am ten steps, away from you,
from you and him
Redemption, is that a sin?
